Post-Homestudy Freak-out
We recently finished our adoption home study and entered the pool of other families waiting to adopt. If it sounds like a horrible, wet and melty place where childless middle-aged couples go to languish, that’s because it is. I know. I have seen the other couples.
There are “waiting family groups” every month hosted by our adoption agency. Usually there is some sort of facilitated activity, then an opportunity for social time afterward at a nearby restaurant. Some of the other couples seem nice and interesting, yet after they found out we had just entered the pool, the conversation turned to how long they had been waiting respectively. And that’s when I had a stroke.
Some of them had been in the pool for over two years. most had been in the pool around a year on average. I had been entertaining myself up until that point with fantasies of being matched with a birth mom within six months or so. Yet the reality is that we will most likely see a year come and go before it happens.That means I might be nearly 45 years old by the time we get a baby.
I’ll most likely have to work through another school year, when I was hoping this was my last. On the positive side, we will have more time to save money for the final expenses and to pay off debts. I can possibly create some savings to ease us into single income-hood, and hopefully get into better shape.
I’ll most definitely have time for the few preparations we need to do pre-baby. I can tell from observing the other waiting parents that there is a danger in dwelling to much on things while we wait. I guess the point is to go on with life for now, knowing that everything is in place and it is just a matter of being picked.
That isn’t necessarily easy.
There are “waiting family groups” every month hosted by our adoption agency. Usually there is some sort of facilitated activity, then an opportunity for social time afterward at a nearby restaurant. Some of the other couples seem nice and interesting, yet after they found out we had just entered the pool, the conversation turned to how long they had been waiting respectively. And that’s when I had a stroke.
Some of them had been in the pool for over two years. most had been in the pool around a year on average. I had been entertaining myself up until that point with fantasies of being matched with a birth mom within six months or so. Yet the reality is that we will most likely see a year come and go before it happens.That means I might be nearly 45 years old by the time we get a baby.
I’ll most likely have to work through another school year, when I was hoping this was my last. On the positive side, we will have more time to save money for the final expenses and to pay off debts. I can possibly create some savings to ease us into single income-hood, and hopefully get into better shape.
I’ll most definitely have time for the few preparations we need to do pre-baby. I can tell from observing the other waiting parents that there is a danger in dwelling to much on things while we wait. I guess the point is to go on with life for now, knowing that everything is in place and it is just a matter of being picked.
That isn’t necessarily easy.
#adoption#gay#openadoption#expecting
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