Thanksgiving; or The Awkwardness of Non-Disclosure
11/27/16
This Thanksgiving due to K's odd rotating work schedule, we had an opportunity to spend time with his brother, sister-in-law, and family in Central Oregon.
Fortunately I get along with them pretty well. I am apparently an upgrade in some ways from the last boyfriend. I try to make an effort to connect with them as much as possible and invest in being part of their family, although they are religiously conservative.
The adoption has brought up an issue that is proving to be challenging. Since we are at the home study in the process, it feels much more palpable and appropriate to tell our wider circle of family and friends.
My family, for all of their dysfunction, is resoundingly accepting of me. I did not hesitate to tell them of the process. However, we have waited to tell K's family. When he tells his brother, it will be a question of how much they will be willing to accept our decision to parent as a gay couple.
He wanted to tell them this weekend, yet there was never a good time. Circumstance seemed to contrive to make sure that we could not have a discrete moment with the two of them. There were always sudden appearances of friends and children that made it impossible to talk about it.
So poor K is still looking forward to telling his brother, probably on the phone.
Having said that, I can't imagine that they won't come around. I know they are fair-minded people.
I bet you thought I would talk about the dinner. But that wasn't the important part of the weekend.
8/28/17
We eventually told them; but it wasn't until May. We took time to drive down to see them, and when the kids weren't nearby (which is almost never) we told them matter of factly. We made sure to let them know how important they are to us and that they are a huge influence on us as potential parents.
And our concern was all for naught. If they had any concerns, they chose to keep them personal. They were excited for us, and K's sister in law in particular is really excited to be an aunt. I feel incredibly privileged to have so much support.
This Thanksgiving due to K's odd rotating work schedule, we had an opportunity to spend time with his brother, sister-in-law, and family in Central Oregon.
Fortunately I get along with them pretty well. I am apparently an upgrade in some ways from the last boyfriend. I try to make an effort to connect with them as much as possible and invest in being part of their family, although they are religiously conservative.
The adoption has brought up an issue that is proving to be challenging. Since we are at the home study in the process, it feels much more palpable and appropriate to tell our wider circle of family and friends.
My family, for all of their dysfunction, is resoundingly accepting of me. I did not hesitate to tell them of the process. However, we have waited to tell K's family. When he tells his brother, it will be a question of how much they will be willing to accept our decision to parent as a gay couple.
He wanted to tell them this weekend, yet there was never a good time. Circumstance seemed to contrive to make sure that we could not have a discrete moment with the two of them. There were always sudden appearances of friends and children that made it impossible to talk about it.
So poor K is still looking forward to telling his brother, probably on the phone.
Having said that, I can't imagine that they won't come around. I know they are fair-minded people.
I bet you thought I would talk about the dinner. But that wasn't the important part of the weekend.
8/28/17
We eventually told them; but it wasn't until May. We took time to drive down to see them, and when the kids weren't nearby (which is almost never) we told them matter of factly. We made sure to let them know how important they are to us and that they are a huge influence on us as potential parents.
And our concern was all for naught. If they had any concerns, they chose to keep them personal. They were excited for us, and K's sister in law in particular is really excited to be an aunt. I feel incredibly privileged to have so much support.
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